I Might Sleep with Jessica Simpson

I am prepared to go on the record as saying, "I think I would have sex with Jessica Simpson". Now before you judge me, hear me out. I know people perceive Jessica Simpson as a little "bimbotic" and the whole "I was married to Nick 'one hit wonder' Lachey" bit doesn't help my cause, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t engage "in coitus with her".

Now go ahead and think what you want, but I have given this a great deal of thought and I think I just might do it. I mean given the chance, of course. It’s really none of your business anyway, but I’m just letting you guys know for the record. It’s not like I am out searching for her and trying to make it happen, but I'm just saying if her naked body fell into my lap, I don’t think I would turn her down.

Some of you may think I am crazy about this whole "having sex with Jessica Simpson" thing. You might be questioning my willingness to admit to something like this. But the bottom line is that I think I would have sex with her! Now, those who know me are probably thinking that I am just bullshiting again, but not this time. This is something I have considered seriously. Really! I have weighed the pros and cons, and it looks like I would do her.

At this point, I am sure many will ask "Why her?" That’s a good question, and the answer is simple. She’s very FOXY! Call me shallow, call me a GY, but that is really the only reason I have for saying I would do her.

Don't get me wrong; there were a few things that made me question my my conclusion; for example, the whole husband fiasco was really hard to get past. The fact that she was married to that douchebag really made me ponder about the whole issue. In the end, Jessica Simpson is still foxy and I feel I could look past her failed marriage while I explored her body. Another reason I questioned my decision is that no-talent sister of hers, Ashlee Simpson. You know the one who can't make up her mind if she's cute/gothic/rock/pop? I don’t know about you, but just the chance that I would think of her sister while I was trying to engage in sexual congress with Jessica Simpson almost broke the deal. But in the end, Jessica Simpson is still foxy, so I think I could block her out of my head for a couple minutes (seconds) while I go about the act.

I am still struggling with my decision right now. I just think having sex with her is something I would not mind doing. Both of us are single right now, and I think I should be a notch above Nick Lachey. So if having sex with Jessica Simpson were an option, I would do it! I think? I mean it is only a few minutes out of my life, and I could say, "Hey I fucked Jessica Simpson". And that would be alright. I have had much worse prospects before...

After all that, your next question might be, "Hey Poh, since you said you will probably have sex with Jessica Simpson, where would you do it?" Good question. I haven't really given it much though but just off the top of my head I’ve put together a list of places where we could have sex:

• against a wall (preferably a kitchen wall)
• the back seat of my Nissan
• a temple (for religious reasons)
• on a bedroom floor (really doesn’t matter whose)
• bathtub (same as above)
• the beach
• bed with a mirror above it
• backstage of at a performance of "Dim Sum Dollies" (I support the Arts)
• on a carpet (clean)
• in JB
• in a dark cave
• in a classroom at my alma mater
• in a conference room at my office
• desert (on a blanket of course)
• the kitchen floor (see point about bedroom floor)
• a SAF hammock
• on the hood of my Nissan
• in the sea then back on the boat deck
• in the jungle (I'm nostalgic about SAF)
• outside against a car (any), then on the ground, then in the "longkang" (in that order)
• in the rain
• at Nanyang lake
• in the bed she lost her virginity in
• in a standard shower cubicle
• in KL
• the back of a pick-up truck
• standing (I can hold her up)
• a storeroom at Courts (just a thought)
• my brother’s room
• in BKK
• in a GV movie theater
• my friend's bed (just to piss him off)

Of course this list is not conclusive. Just off the top of my head that's all. There may be other places that I want to have sex with Jessica Simpson at, I think...

So there you have it. I think I might have sex with Jessica Simpson if the situation presented itself. I’m not going to pursue it, but if it happens, I probably wouldn’t turn it down. Then again, maybe I would...